Monday, January 2, 2012

Ugly Criers Unite!

Typically, Bachelor contestants can be divided into two main groups...1-Those who are blatantly looking to forward their acting/modeling/music career and 2-Those who are "here for love".

I think this season we can break down those two groups even farther with...1-Those who wear sparkly eyeshadow and 2-Those who also wear sparkly eye shadow.

Seriously!  What was up with the sparkly eye shadow? However, I guess I am a little out of the know since I let my subscription to Seventeen magazine lapse TEN YEARS AGO.

First up, the "one's Ben kept TOTALLY by his own choosing and NO the show had nothing to do with it! Why?" group...

Weird pretend lesbian #1

And weird pretend lesbian #2.

Of course this one is from the SLC.  I think this show has something against Utah which is why it continues to cast every crazy person that ever came out of our state.

Watching this girl attention-whore herself out like that?  Well of course I loved it.  And of course Ben kept her around because he loves unattractive, weird, pretend lesbian attention whores.  Who doesn't?!

The bizzo model. 

Listening to her speak makes me want to vom.  Yeah, we got it.  You're a model.  Thanks for pointing that out for us 15 times. Gross.

The blogger?

Uh, I've never heard of her blog.  And I take blog reading pretty seriously. 

This one is CAAArazay.

The manly personal trainer.

Every season needs one.

The single mom.

I take no issue with her.  Except for the skunk hair.

Not ok.

And the one who brought her grandma. 

Smart stunt.  I doubt she will be around long.

 And my top 3...


Kacie B. is my most favorite.  She basically seems like maybe the most adorable person that has ever been on this show.  My vote is for her based off of nothing.


 Now let's talk about how boring Ben is.  Is he attractive?  Interesting?  Engaging?  Funny?  Friendly?  Anything? Ben?  Hello?  Are you awake?  For reals, am I totally off base?  Are people out there just big Ben fans?  Are people standing outside The Bachelor offices holding huge signs that read, "WE WANT BEN!"?  If you say you are a Ben fan I probably won't believe you but I am open to hearing your argument.

Here is my argument.

Picture this...

You walk into a room.  In that room stands...

A young, unattractive version of Neil Diamond wearing a shimmery, purple shirt and...

Brad Womack

Uhhhh. 

So you are in a room.

Umm.  In a room?

Huh?

 With Brad.....

I'm sorry.  What? 

Was I talking?

Brad.

Huh?

Where am I?

Braaaaaaadddddddddd

Uhhh.......

Brad.

Ahem.

Do you get what I'm saying?  No?  

Anyways, this season looks dramatical.  It better be.  I get real bored real fast if it's not.  I want ugly crying, Mike Fleiss.  Make it happen. 


Ew.

5 comments:

Ty and Meg said...

Oh boy. Here we go again. Couldn't agree more about Ben. I only watched the end of the last season when it was between him and that other dude that Ashleighee picked and I still could not remember who he was because I was just that bored with him last season. Now he is booooring again. I miss Brad.

Nicole said...

That blogger chic is CRAZY. OMG.

Bonny said...

Remember when the model actually said, "I'm at the point in my life where I'm a model." ??

Uh what? Like that's a normal point in life?

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