Wednesday, August 10, 2011

I went to Portland with a baby! By myself!

I will most definitely NEVER be doing that again.

We got to the airport early planning on having to stand in lots of long lines. But guess what? Salt Lake International Airport treats moms with strollers, babies, carry ons and pull suitcases like freaking royalty. I checked my bags at the curb, was ushered to the front of a very long security line, and made it to my gate with an hour to spare. Yay!

Shortly after I was notified by electronic phone message that my flight was delayed three hours. Shoot me.

No really, shoot me.

C and I walked the halls of the airport, crawled all over dirty floors and put our tongues on filthy metal posts for THREE. HOURS. And let me tell you. She was not a joy.

When we finally boarded the plane my nerves were shot and I was frazzled, to say the least. I was so desperate and crazy at this point that I was talking to Caroline like she had any freaking clue what I was saying.

"Now Caroline, please, for the love, PLEASE, no whining. No crying. I'm begging you. I'll do anything. You can smash my iPhone into a million pieces on the ground as long as you are quiet on this flight. Ok? Please. OMG."

And C was looking up at me doing this thing she does where she blinks a lot.

I knew it was over.

I tried everything. Snacks! iPad! Brand new toys she has never seen before! Diet Coke! Shoving her dirty, little fingers into my mouth.

We hadn't even taken off yet and she was already climbing all over my seat and banging her head against the window and screaming to get off my lap. It was horrendous. I was wondering why I'd even had a baby in the first place.

I will NEVER again judge people on planes with crying kids. NEVER. Because as annoying as that is for you...I promise that the parents of that kid are suffering FAR WORSE. You can just put in your headphones, read a book, sip your little drink and have a pleasant flight. But parents with kids on a plane have to suffer and scramble and literally work up a sweat trying to keep their kids quiet so they can avoid the nasty stares and glares from all the other pepole on the plane. It is pure misery.

Side note: My best friend Emily travels alone with her baby all the time. Amazing. Some people may be cut out for this kind of thing. But I was considering jumping.

I finally resorted to my very last ditch option. If this didn't work I knew I was doomed. I tried nursing her under a blanket. C was ferociously kicking the lady next to me, who, by the way, was so incredibly understanding.

And guess what people? She fell asleep! And slept the whole flight! But the prior 4 hours were traumatic enough that I was on the verge of tears and afraid to move even a muscle for fear of waking the sleeping monster. My arm was shaking from supporting her sweaty, 17 pound body. I knew there was no way I would be able to fly back home. I pretty much told B that he was going to have to drive to Oregon and pick us up.

But yes, we made it. WE MADE IT!

Did C sleep at night or take great naps? No. Did she whine for 4 days straight from being off her schedule and out of her environment? Yes. Was I ready to punch someone in the face? Possibly. Even still, we managed to have a great time. If not a very sleep deprived, at my wits end, about to take up drinking great time!

We went to the Portland Farmers Market to buy fresh produce for a few meals. It was awesome!

The produce was amazing. So amazing that these pictures magically turned out small.

We swam in my sisters pool.

We went to the coast. The weather was gorgeous and C LOVED her first ocean experience {even though she looks slightly distraught in the first picture}.

She ate a lot of sand. I was too tired to care.


We had a girls lunch at The OG.

She loves her Uncle Tyler and Aunt Megan.

This is a delicious Cajun restaurant under the freeway. We may have been approached by a crackie. Worth it!

All in all, lots of fun. We love going to visit Portland. Next time, Grandma will be coming to help whether she likes it or not.


Em said...

I would have died! A delay would screw everything up.

For the record, I have NEVER had a delay (knock on wood). Pray for me on Aug. 25th when I'll be on a plane for 5 hours with my squirmy, opinionated child... ALONE!

Ty and Meg said...

HA! So dramatic. It was not THAT bad. She didnt whine ALL the time. haha We loved having you guys, but agree that granny janny is now required for all travel experiences.

Melanie said...

Yikes! The delay would be awful. I just traveled alone with my 2 and it is incredibly hard. I just tell myself it's worth it to be able to spend time with family, right?

And the part where you said you would never judge others who have kids on planes....I laughed a little because I remember reading a post from you one time, before you had C, that you get SO annoyed with people whose kids are misbehaving in restaurants. I remember thinking, oh boy she's going to eat those words some day! :) It's so horribly embarrassing and frustrating when my kids act up. I always feel bad for anyone that has to sit by us.

The McBrides said...

your a survivor, and you no doubt came out on the other side a better mother... I salute you, I still have never traveled with my kids. This is a good reminder of why we turned Troy and Dianne down on their offer to go to Disneyland when they went back in May, it sounds fun in theory, but reality is a bitch and even the "Happiest place on earth" would have royally sucked. way to get through your first trip, that is a huge accomplishment!

Aimee said...

Sometimes I feel like that on a normal day w/out traveling on an airplane. Sigh.

Sounds slightly miserable and it is funny how even on the hardest day we end up melting at the little, cute things they do. Evolution knew what it was doing for us moms.

Glad you had a good time though! I love Portland.

Anonymous said...

I just flew to Arizona, a 5 hour flight, by myself, with three kids!! It was horrendous. Graham cried the whole entire flight out there! Seriously! He feel asleep with 20 minutes to spare before landing. I was completely completely paranoid for the flight home. So much so that I doped him with benadryl. I know! Bad, huh? I couldn't stand the possibility of that happening again. I don't know what was wrong with him, it must have been his ears.

Anyway, I was cracking up through this entire post, because that is how I feel to a T with all the germs. I also totally get the part where you said you would give her anything she wanted to make her happy. I was throwing anything at Graham to get him to chill out.

I am so sorry you had to go through that. I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy. Ok, maybe my worst enemy, but you get the point.

kalie said...

Love. Love your new header!

This is a hilarious post, per usual, and it makes me shudder to think of ever taking Isaac on a trip alone. But you did! And you triumphed! You ROCK.

Lincoln and Alisia said...

Oh man, I am going to Utah next week and will be alone with the baby on a plane for the first time. Last time we went to canada, i had Lincoln to help... PS I loved the shout out to Emily. She is great.

Marcus and Amy said...

Oh thank you for being so real and expressing your life with a child. It makes me feel normal and that I am not alone in my similar battles!

But, she is pretty cute! And it does look like you had a good time depsite the "minor" set backs!