Wednesday, June 29, 2011

So.....

j.p. for the win, yes?

obviously she is going to pick him. and she should. he's legit. the only improvement i can think to make for j.p. is that he should go by jordan paul all the time. he's a good guy. well, at least he's a good guy according to the editing that the abc producers have done.

before i delve in, here is my thought on dudes. if a dude is concerned about your feelings above all else...then he is truly a keeper. when ashely told j.p. about bentley square head he was totally cool and sweet to her. and later, when she told the other bach's and some of them pooped their tighty whities over it...he was defending her the whole time. darling. and even the dentist, who sadly, was sent home, did a total 180 when he saw how upset ashley was. that's how you know he's a nice guy. as opposed to that douche nozzle, lucas, from texas...who was such a jerk about the whole thing.

and even though we all know that the way ashley handled the bentley situation was less than stellar...it doesn't change the fact that a gentleman wouldn't treat her that way.

and that's my two cents.

moving on...

we open in tokyo. que dramatic gong music. chris harrison has a bomb to drop. and it's not a deuce. bentley is back! ashley feigns shock! chris hands her a folded up piece of paper...which has bentleys room number written on it. how... 3rd grade? her bowed little barbie, stick legs in 9 inch heels, hobble down the hall to bentley's room. *knock knock knock.*

and then my favorite part of the entire episode...

through the door we hear bentley ask, "who is it?". ha! so fun! yay bentley!

awkward kiss.

i'm really starting to get excited. what is he going to say?! eee! this is going to be good! tell her bentley! TELL HER YOU WOULD RATHER DRINK YOUR OWN PEE THAN PLAN A WEDDING WITH HER!

and 3.7 seconds later. over.

i seriously hate the mass editing that happens on this show. you know we only saw about 2 billionths of that conversation between ashley and bentley. are we supposed to believe that ashley came to the conclusion that bentley square head is a tool based off of that "conversation"? he barely said two words...that we were shown anyway. but whatever was said, ashley was able to get over bentley. hooray! she is over bentley! no more bentley! bentley is done! "i'm so over bentley!" "i haven't thought about bentley all day!" "on this whole date, bentley hasn't even crossed my mind once." "i'm so glad i can finally move on now and not think about bentley." "bentley who?" "i was thinking...but not about bentley..." "so bentley is totally gone from my mind now and i can really concentrate on the other bachelors." "bentley!" "what?" "bentley." "you guyssss....bentley bentley blah blah bentley blah bentley blah blah you guys, bentley and now it's all worked out, bentley, blah, and i'm over bentley!" "bentley!"

were any of you counting how many times bentley was mentioned in this episode? you weren't? well i was. the answer is infinity. she is so over bentley that his name was only mentioned infinity times.

he has really hijacked this show eh? i'm not even sure this season can exist without him. but based on the previews of what's to come...there is a lot of crying. i'm sure it has nothing to do with bentley though. because she is over bentley. bentley is gone. bentley is done. bentley! no more bentley!" bentley.

so yeah, there was bentley.

and then some other stuff happened.

and people got pissed about bentley. josh groban 1 and josh groban 2 were indignant. ames stood there looking confused, breathing through is mouth. texas guy let us all know that she is WASTING HIS PRECIOUS TIME! he could be home right now...working and stuff...instead of wasting his time ON THIS STUPID FREE TRIP ACROSS THE ENTIRE CONTINENT OF ASIA!

and then everyone talked about bentley.

and then mickey kicked himself off over bentley. {he was too hot for her anyway.}

and then ashley cried over what bentley made her do to the guys.

and then she handed out some roses.

and next week, more crying over bentley.

the end.

bentley.

13 comments:

Ty and Meg said...

Ha. Ashley is a dummy.

Bently.

Ali said...

How many days until Bachelor Pad starts? I'm thinking a nice little countdown widget would look awesome on your blog.

liz said...

BAHAHAA! andrea, please never stop writing these posts. poor JP can't we find someone better for him??

Sarah said...

Is it wrong that I watch the show so I can intelligently read your blog post? hmm. Deep thoughts. About the show, I was so confused after that conversation. I agree he said nothing. I did think it was funny when he said "But was it fun?" How does he have so much power over this season. He is so uncool. Love the Josh Groban comment, Ben made me rewind about 3 times so I could show them that they were indeed 2 diff people.

Melissa Stringham said...

I love the way you described her legs. Every week I ask jack why her legs ar spread so far apart when sh walks. And let's be honest, the only reason I watched any of this season was because of bentley.

the Baker 4 said...

Im glad Bentley finally put a period at the end of the conversation LOL....The kiss between the two of them was so funny....he had NO intentions of kissing her....When she asked why he came here instead of calling her, well DUH its a FREE trip to Asia....I would do what he did too...To bad he is such a douche bag!!! If i hear Bentley's name one more time im going to pull my hair out.....BENTLEY lol

Marcus and Amy said...

Hilarious post!
I lose respect for Ashley more and more every week. And does it bother you that she is CONSTANTLY smoothing out her bangs? Leave them alone!
Laughed hard at your comment on Ames with his mouth open...so true and my favorite line from him, "I suppose we all want our fairy tales to be simple!" And did you not laugh hard at his elevator jump on Ashley moment?? Then someone almost gets on and he was all, "oopps". HA!!
Ryan, oh my, the whole time she was telling the guys about BENTLEY, he had a huge creepy joker smile on his face. I wish we could see someone really piss him off.
AND MICKEY LEFT!! NOOOOO, he is so so hot. Did you know he was one of Cosmo's 2010 hottest bach's? Is it creepy that I know that? He is hot and I shed a tear when he left.

Chris H. did an interview that said Bentley is amazing at saying nothing and winning girls over. And did you know that on the July 11 episode they are doing a special interview with Emily and how they are no longer engaged and why!! Should be good!

Jordan Paul wins!

Marcus and Amy said...

Oh, and I am way to excited for the Guys Tell All...lets just end the season and go to that!

JOCELYN & TODD (AND JM) said...

So, Andrea, you don't know me but I am a friend of Liz's. I must say that my husband and I were rolling at your entry about The Bach. Hilarious. Simply hilarious. And also, three cheers for Jordan Paul!

Trav and Lizzie said...

Yay Jocelyn, and yay A!! I love my friends!!
Amen to the bangs, pin them back or cut the off. Either way stop smoothing them over.
Double amen to her legs... I wondered myself why I couldn't stop staring at them. How would it feel for your thighs not to smoooooosh together when you walk? I guess I'll never know.
One little diddy that came to my mind this week, why ask crazy depressing questions every date??
- what's the worst thing that's ever happened to you?
- what was the worst day of your life?
- when dud you last cry?
Blah blah blah.
We get it Ashley, but we don't have to have zero self respect or optimism in life like you do, you little stick figure.

I'm A. said...

Amy - I am anxiously awaiting July 11!

Jocelyn - Welcome! :)

Liz, LMP - How would it feel to stand with your feet together and still have a space wide enough between your thighs that a large baby could fit through?

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