Sunday, August 15, 2010

A little update.

its so crazy to go from this....
to this...
having a new baby is such a huge adjustment. people tell you it's hard and that you will be tired...but ha! you have NO IDEA until you are actually experiencing it. and i can't even really complain because i have an awesome baby. even still, i worry about everything. i'm in a constant state of quiet panic that i have a baby that is relying on me to keep her alive. crazy!
i have decided to stop reading books. they all say something different. 'wake them up and feed them every 2 hours no matter what!' 'feed them only when they are hungry!' 'get them on a sleeping schedule by 2 weeks or they won't sleep well ever!' 'don't put newborns on a schedule. in fact...don't even think about it until they are at least 2 months old!'
seriously! no wonder first time parents feel panic. c is so perfect though. she is happy and content and sweet all the time. she lets us know when she is hungry...which is usually about every 3 hours. at night she often only wakes up once to eat. {except some nights when she wants to stay up until 4 am.} still, of course, i'm always wondering if we are doing things "right".
i'm really interested to know how everyone survives the newborn phase. how often do you nurse? do you let your baby decide when they are hungry or do you wake them up to feed them? do you keep your baby up during the day to help them sleep at night? do you think it's ok for newborns to sleep at night and only wake up to eat once? how do you cope if your baby is literally up all night? do you keep your baby in your room or in a different room? i love getting everyones input. all in all though, we are doing great and we love that baby like crazy people.
the c section recovery has been a little slow and we have just been taking it easy for the last 2 weeks. however, b has been bored out of his gourd and i'm a little stir crazy myself so we went on a drive up to the albion loop to look at some wildflowers. c slept the whole time.
also, my sister has been in town which has been awesome. she and my mom have just saved my life. i was so sad that she had to go home. so was c...clearly.
before she left we had a little hat fashion show. i'm pretty much obsessed with tiny, knit, baby hats. i have about 20. c, however, is not so obsessed.
we adore her.


Stephanie said...

Ok lady, you asked for it!
I go by the saying "never wake a sleeping baby." A baby will not starve herself to death. If she's hungry, she'll cry. The fact that she wakes once a night is divine! DON'T wake her up at night, it will just get her in the habit of waking up at night...she won't starve! The nights she is up all night are not easy, but then you can sleep when she does during the day. Make sure you sleep when she does for the next couple weeks so you don't get pp depression. Sleep is SO important! I over did it after Syd and totally crashed around 3 weeks after she was born...not fun!
Call me if you wanna just talk! She is BEAUTIFUL!!! I love the last picture of her, so precious!

Barb @ getupandplay said...

She is so cute. I agree with Stephanie- don't wake her up to feed her unless YOU need to nurse her (you know what I'm saying there, right?) Most importantly, YOU know your baby and those books never will. Follow your instincts, try a few different things and go with the flow. I never felt peace as a mom until I was able to forget what the books (and everyone else said) and focused on what I knew worked for my baby. We had him sleep in our bed until 10 months and I nursed on demand, but that worked for us and doesn't work for everyone. (And it required major patience from me- I didn't go anywhere ever in the evening because Charlie would wake up often in the evening and I nursed him to sleep. But eventually he slept through the night and I had a life again. Each phase is temporary).

Melissa Stringham said...

I believe that when you have a big, healthy baby there is no reason to wake them to eat. I let both of mine nurse on demand. With my first I was so worried about getting her on a schedule at first. I read baby wise and other books and made an attempt, but it just didn't feel right. Feeding on demand makes for happy, healthy babies! Jackson is almost 5 months and nurses between every 2 - 4 hours. Sure that is not convenient and I can't leave him for very long, but in the grand scheme, this phase is really quite short and you will miss it when it is gone. Once they start eating solid foods around six months, the nursings will get fewer and further between. Trying to keep your baby awake through the day seems to futile for me. I just let my baby nap when he needed, but during the day I left his blinds open and wasn't especially quiet. I think that helped him figure out the difference between day and night. Eventually you will notice that she will fall into a 3-naps-a-day pattern (which will eventually turn into 2 naps and then 1). I feel like babies can really do this on their own if you follow their lead and let her eat when hungry and sleep when tired. I really beleive it is ok for your baby to only wake up once (or not at all or three times or whatever) in the night. She will not starve herself. She will make up for the calories during the day. I think the only time people need to wake their babies to eat is if their babies are not gaining weight properly, and this usually only happens with preemies. My 5 month old still wakes up so many times in the night! It is hard. I still have to take naps when I can. But once your body has healed from child birth it is amazing how little sleep you can survive on (and I used to need at least 9 hours a night before having kids to feel good! Now I can feel good on 5) I kept both my babies in my room for about 2 months because it was just easier to get up with them when they were getting up so many times during the night. I think both parties sleep better if baby is in his own room though. One big tip: With my first I always put her to sleep in her crib and kept her room dark and quiet. She learned to sleep ONLY that way and could never sleep anywhere else. She could never sleep in my arms or in the car and had a hard time sleeping anywhere but her quiet room. We had to tiptoe and whisper while she napped. SO I am teaching my second to sleep through the noise of his sister and the vacuum, to fall asleep outside on a blanket or in his carseat or his crib. Life is easier that way!

I am glad she is being a good baby for you! Just do whatever feels best to you. I really think that a big healthy baby can guide the way for you and doesn't need a lot of scheduling from her parents.

naezandkidz said...

I agree...If she is hungry she will wake up to eat....She is a good size baby so no need to make sure she is on a feeding schedule...You sound like you are doing great with her...I was told by my doctor to NOT read the books cause they are all make a mom worry and if you have a question to ask your mom or the dr. So dont stress...You are doing great!!
She is ABSOULTELY adorable and I cnat wait to see her again!

Tyler and Megan said...

BABEE! I miss and love you both. I don't really have baby advice, other than to keep forcing those hats on her.

Love you!

Marcus and Amy said...

She is adorable!! I love those hats, so so cute!

When you get up from sitting or laying down, do you get that horrible stinging pain from the C-section? Man, its the worst, it feels like a knife digging in your side - or was that just me?

I stopped reading books too beacuse I was REALLY frustrated that Addie was not what the "baby" in the book was doing or not doing. So I stopped cause I was stressing myself out and reading too all hours! And really, the truth is...EVERY BABY IS DIFFERENT! I say if you are going to read, take it all as a guideline and go with your gut! You are a mother now, and you have that natural instinct now!

Addie was not your normal nurser...she would eat every 3-4 hours and only eat for a TOTAL of 5-10 min (both sides) I was always stressed wondering if she was getting enough - but oddly enough, she was gaining weight. She is just a small thing (and she had acid reflux - whole other story). And Addie also only ate once every night. Sometimes twice, but very rarely. So nurse her when she wants it - it sound like she is letting you know already!

Addie had her nights and days mixed up too - On this - I say do what you have to do. I kept her awake an extra 30-45 min before naps so that I could train her to know it was day time. We made noise, ran the vaccum, played etc. At night it was quite and time to sleep. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't.

When she was awake at night, I watched a lot of late night talk shows! And the next day, I slept when she slept.

For about 3 weeks I slept in the same room with her cause it was hard to get up (healing from c-section) but after that we left her alone in her room and use a monitor. They grunt and move a lot and it always woke me up (paranoid mom!)

I think it is natural to want to make sure your are doing everything right - it is so so crazy to know you are in charge of this little baby, forever! You are awesome though and I am sure you are doing great! Just from the few posts you have done, she is a LOVED baby girl!

Another thing to remember when you get frustrated or you are really tired, just remember that she will not always be in "this stage". That always helped me to remember, especially when I was up in the middle of the night....She will get older and move on to another "stage"! :)

I have come to have a lot of "ah ha" moments since becoming a mother, things you always hear about but really don't understand or really get until now, being a mom. Its like coming full circle.

She is a cutie! Keep the pictures coming!

Starr said...

Those hats are ADORABLE. Especially on that ADORABLE head! I always get to a summer state where I foolishly think it will never be cold again - Mae had a couple hats going into the winter and they were saving grace for those cold cold days. Now nursing - the only thing I wish I could go back and change with Mae is nurse her however long she wanted, whenever she wanted. I just did what the dr. told me and the poor lady was hungry. Luckily she didn't totally waste away and I threw all caution to the wind and I became a nursing machine for the next 11 months. Sometimes I nursed for hours. Toward the end I even nursed with one boob! Take that lactation station! The other one has always been the small failure boob anyway.

Jen said...

Do whatever feels right - you will survive! :) I personally try and get them on a schedule as soon as possible because my kids did better with that. I think the no more parenting books is a great idea! Just enjoy hanging out with her...they are little for such a short time - ok, that just made me sound old! lol!

Katrina said...

oh she looks so itty bitty! makes me realize how much miriam has grown already! ack! slow down, I say!

Dustin and Whit said...

I can't even tell you how nice it was having lunch the other day, I REALLY needed to get out! I hope I didn't stress you out with my unruly child and all! My advise would be to toss the books for now, and just enjoy her, things will get easier over the next few weeks and then you can start deciding what feels right on sleep training and all of that. There is plenty of time and that baby is not going to suffer a long and miserable life if she eats and sleeps when she wants for a little while longer, hang in there you are doing great! I would love to get together again!

the Baker 4 said...

Andrea....she is so cute...I agree with everyone, your doing a great job and just go with the flow..She will tell you what she wants. As far as sleeping in your room, I had my kids in a bassinet for the first 2 months then I moved them into there cribs...Dont ever sleep with her in your bed. The chances of you rolling over on here is great. Also if she doesnt sleep during the night get her a swing and put her in it...That is how Renae survived with Cooper. Cant wait to see her!

e said...

Even crying she is the cutest, most perfect baby I have seen in a long time... i can't offer any mothering advice aside from my own personal opinion that I'm glad you've decided to take a step back from the books; you'll be awesome!

Anonymous said...

She is so cute and you look great! I love those hats!!

After I had Mason I would swear up and down that I had all the answers on how to have a perfect scheduled, happy baby. I thought I had babies all figured out, that I was the master...then I had Quincy! Haaaa! That girl rocked my world!! I realized my cocky, "Look how great my newborn baby, Mason is...," was just a fluke. His personality. He was a conformer to whatever I thought good. Quincy was the exact opposite. Whatever I did, whatever book I read, it didn't work. She was my awakening that every baby is different. She was my awakening to never judge a parent by their child's or babies behavior/schedule. She was my awakening that they are their own person, and they come to this life as their own person. Yes, one book may work for that particular child, and may be great insight for you, but then it may not too.

I enjoy reading parenting books, but just take them with a grain of salt.

So here is my only real advice.... Do what works for you and your family. Even if it's not exactly how you would choose to do it. If your baby sleeps in your room, she's not going to sleep in there until she's 18. She's not going to wear diapers to kindergarten. She's not going to have a binkie when married. She's not going to need a sippy of milk when she's 8. She's not going to sleep in a swing or bouncy seat until the day she dies. ...Oh, you know the list could go on!!!!

I feel like we as parents, especially me, get all worried about doing it right, but at the end of the day, as long as our kids are loved, and have a full belly, and clean undies, all will turn out just fine!

Anonymous said...

(and now I'm just typing this so I can subscribe to the comments) :)

bets said...

oh andrea. she is a perfect little pea. so beautiful. and, not to sound like a broken record, but i agree with most of the other posts: throw your books away (not really, but you know what i mean). don't wake her up to feed her-she definitely will let you know when she's hungry. seriously. and i don't agree with waking a baby up so that they will sleep later-she WILL figure out her nights and days. it's a little rocky those first few months but she'll get it. and i so know how you're feeling about nursing being painful. i bled the second day we had winston home because i was so cracked-he actually spit up blood which about gave me a heart attack until i realized it was because he got it from me. it took me a while before it didn't make my toes curl to nurse but i just made sure to load on the lanolin, air dry after a shower and (tmi coming up) go topless as much as i could (or with the nursing bra down). it gets better, i promise. make sure you allow yourself to take it easy, ok? i sort of felt like i ought to be up and running like two weeks after w was born but it's a serious recovery, especially in your case, with your c-section and all. you don't have to be one of those moms who's out and grocery shopping a day after your baby's born. relax. let everyone help. you are a superstar. so many congratulations to you and brandon!