Tuesday, June 8, 2010

It's like a rocketship blew up emotionally.

so last week...
-weatherman cried because he had to wear a speedo
-ali went on one on one dates with frodo of the shire (which is what i will be calling frank from now on) and hot michael phelps (which is what i will be calling that guy whos name i have never bothered to learn who looks like a hot michael phelps)
-weatherman cried some more because the guy with the hair made fun of him
the end.
and now on to this week...
ali "picked" roberto for the one on one date. and i say "picked" because i highly doubt ali has any say in anything that happens on this show. ali clearly likes roberto. which she should. look at him (but pretend he's not wearing a necklace):
and crap cakes, why did ali have to go and make herself all likable by actually saying to the camera that she wonders if roberto is too hot for her. he is. obviously. those were my thoughts exactly. and i wrote it on the blog 2 weeks ago. but for her to say that out loud sort of brings her down to a real person level. and makes her seem all normal and shiz. hrmph. me no likey.
p.s. ali looked cuter this week. but you didn't hear that from me.
anyways...onwards...yes, roberto is hot. real hot. and she likes him a lot. i predict him in the top 3 for sure. maybe even roberto for the win.
and then the group date, which consisted of ali and her band of dorky, border-line attractive followers dancing awkwardly under an overpass to the "hip", musical stylings of the bare naked ladies. yeesh. and then they get to make a pretend music video! how not embarrassing for all of them!
my two favorite parts...
1-weatherman crying for the eleventyith time since the show aired because he couldn't quite pull off the pretend music video kiss with ali. he clearly has some issues. but then ali goes and makes herself likeable AGAIN (!!!) by kissing him so he wouldn't feel so bad. that was real nice of her. and i'm serious because it was also probably one of the hardest things she has ever had to do. kissing him would be like...would you rather have your hand sawed off with a butter knife or your legs bitten off by a shark? that is how bad it would have to be deciding to kiss weatherman. he is a total tool. of course weatherman is so oblivious and WEIRDO that he goes ahead and thinks the kiss was the real deal. and then these words ACTUALLY leave his mouth..."when ali kissed me, it was sort of like a rocket ship blew up emotionally". ummm....ok....wow. WOW.
a million times ew. 2-that kissing scene with this guy whose name i don't know:that was seriously hot. seriously. i like him. he can be in the top 3 as well.
then the wrestler walks to ali's. that was totally his own idea. i'm sure the show had absolutely nothing to do with that. nothing at all. and i guess i'm supposed to care about that and find it sweet or something. except i don't care. the wrestler, in my opinion, is basically a smarter version of wes. he's pimping himself out on tv but at least he's being sly about it. i predict good things to come from the wrestler. and by good things i mean bad things that i will find entertaining and hilarious. followed by one on one date with mcgoo here:
he's weird. and gone. good.
followed by ali wearing yet another prom dress to the rose ceremony. i feel like she found these dresses while flipping through the prom section of an alyse's bridal catalogue. what's with the prom dresses? seeing her in that fugly prom dress filled me with such rage. i'm serious. maybe it's the pregnancy. but seriously, what. is. with. the. PROM. DRESSES?!
breath. breath.
my guess for top four:

and the ones i really hate:

and the ones who may or may not be on this show? does anyone even know who these guys are?


Paula said...

you are brilliant and need your own column!

Meg said...

Okaaay...first of all...Ali may have dressed slightly cuter (minus that awful prom/wedding dress that was the color of damp cement) but her hair still kills me. I don't know how it is even possible to looks so yucky so frequently. Second, Tyler thinks that Roberto is the next bachelor. I think he may be right. Third, I also sort of like the hot blong kisser boy. Fourth, weather man is SO scary...but almost too good to be true. Can he really be that way? So scary. And in the column of guys you have no idea who they are live two of my least favorites. The lawyer who is the ugliest guy ever and Ty, the ghetto cowboy one who wears the big silver medallion necklace. Kill me now please. I am still underwhelmed by all the guys. But can we please make a special mention of hot Michael Phelps all levi attire at the rose ceremony?? ha. Bless him. He is from MO. So we can't really blame him. At least that is what Tyler says.

I'm A. said...

The hair is bad. So bad. While watching, I try to pretend like she is bald...which somehow is an improvement.

I think Roberto gets picked in the end. But I can also see Ty's point. I'm still sticking with Roberto for the win though.

I think weatherman is just too crazy to be pretending. And I love it. Please let him stay forever.

And I love hot Michael Phelps. I loved his levi get-up. I just love love love him.

the Baker 4 said...

OMG!! Andrea i finally cant just sit here anylonger....I have the new people magazine in my hand here is the scoop.....Frank is still in love with his ex...he is still talking to her during the taping of the show..he will end of leaving.....Then there is Kasey he had a tatoo of a rose tattooed on his wrist for Ali....she thought that was a bit creepy....then there is Justin...where to begin with him LOL he has been juggling 2 girlfriends during the show one who appears on the show Jessica Spillas and then a girl names Kimberly Kerekes. Jessica was told that if she let him go on the show he would marry her when he got back..... Bye Bye Justin...LOL So much Drama in these shows makes me laugh!!!

Sarah said...

i agree 110% i thought the man with the hair was hilarious last week. i loved how he kept scaring weatherman.

I'm A. said...

Oh man. Amazing. I hope every one of those things is true.

Firstly...Frodo of the Shire having a girlfriend is surprising. That should make for some good drama. I bet he still sticks around for a long time and drops that bomb on Ali at the last second. Ha.

Secondly...Kasey is a FREAK. He's a total stalker. It seems like that is going to come out next week.

Thirdly...I am not the least bit surprised about Justin having two girlfriends. I bet the producers LOVE that. You know who else loves it? Me.

Good stuff.