Tuesday, June 15, 2010

A beehive of knives to your face...jealous!

ali has got herself some serious sketchers on this season. yikes. but lets start at the beginning...
ali and kasey go on the world's most awkward one-on-one date complete with tone-deaf singing {but at least you can't tell he's making the song up on the spot!...urr....} and some of the best quotes of this season so far. like when he finishes his song and ali, speechless, can only muster up an awkward laugh to which casey responds..."yeah, it's intense."
"this is my heart. jump in. stay awhile."
"all you guys are diamonds on my heart."
i wish i would have counted the number of times that kasey said he would like to "guard and protect" ali's heart. although i'm not sure there is a number that goes that high.
then off to new york. ali, so unlike every other women on the planet, happens to enjoy broadway! shocking! in fact...it's one of her "favorite things about new york!" how utterly unique! !!! ! !
i love how this show insists upon emasculating men and humiliating women on tv. hey guys!... put on these biker shorts, dance around and sing 'can you feel the love tonight' while all of america watches.
does anyone find this entertaining? because i don't.
roberto is the "winner" and for his prize he gets to put on a leotard and participate in about 30 seconds of the lion king on broadway. {side note: that leotard that ali had to wear is possibly the most unflattering thing that has ever been worn. EVER.} the show trys to convince us that this 30 second lion king appearance is a near spiritual experience for roberto and ali. and the other bachelors try to convince us that they are SO JEALOUS! uhh...no you guys aren't.
except for weather man. now HE was jealous. like..."a beehive of knives to your face...jealous!" poor little lesbian weather man who can't even muster up the courage to talk to ali. "umm... excuse me...hi...umm...sorry....umm....is this a bad time....?" painful! and then kirk walks right in front of weather man, who is sort of like a half person, and asks to walk ali to her room. that is just good stuff right there. listen, i just happen to be one of those people who finds joy in watching people on reality tv suffer. the weather man's pain is delicious. and he seems to be in some sort of emotional pain about 99% of the time. so i'm really going to miss him
now for the one on one date with cape cod. i actually don't know his real name. and until last night i don't think i even knew that he was on the show. but never mind that because now i love him. what i don't love? is ali's nast hair. it is actually starting to appear to grease up and twist itself into dreadlocks. yum!
but back to cape cod...he's hot. and sweet. and a little shy. and normal. he is a definite contender in my book. also...cape cod and ali dancing to joshua radin, with backup gospel choir, on a rooftop over looking the new york city nightline?...SWOOON. i'm going to go out on a limb here and say that that moment was probably one of the best "dates" on this show's history. seriously! joshua radin!
also...kasey got a tattoo. really, what is there to say other than he is INSANE? not funny insane. like actually INSANE. ali should watch her back when she kicks him off. what is also insane is that the show forced her to keep him for ratings thus making her boot of hot michael phelps! wtf?! really ali? really show? you are booting off hot michael phelps? are we supposed to actually believe that anyone ON THE EARTH would boot off hot michael phelps while choosing to keep INSANE tattoo, singing guy and this other guy who has yet to say ONE, SINGLE WORD? infuriating. at least hot michael phelps didn't seem to give a shee either way and was more excited to get home and see his dogs than spend any more time with ali and her nasty hair extensions. but at least ali replaced the prom dress with a...pants suit. just shoot me.
who are you?and why are you still here?
top four...
roberto {who she will pick}

cape cod


and frodo of the shire.thoughts?


Meg said...

I like Cape Cod too. And for the record I would like to remind you that I said that last week. I will miss weatherman. Ali's cocktail attire was awful for a change, as was her hair...but honestly I didn't hate her has much this week as normal. And what is the deal with the guy who has never spoken? Is he going to swoop in from behind? I am confused with him. I still hate Ty and big head annoying guy (the lawyer) even more than insane tatoo boy. I still think Roberto has a shot at being bachelor...but maybe Kirk does too. I think she and Kirk could possibly work together. I don't see it lasting with Roberto. But I love him. I would pick him.

Meg said...

Oh- also- they didn't even do Ali's hair for the Lion King! I was so confused by that. She had it in a messy bun. Weird.

naezandkidz said...

I have loved Cape cod boy from the first I think he is sweet but to sweet for her...I cant stand her hair and I would never go on tv looking like her...This season is just crazy!!

Anonymous said...

I wrote a long comment last week about how I loved Chris, the capecod guy. But then my computer was retarded and when i tried to post it, it didn't work. I was too lazy to retype the whole thing so I didn't comment last week, even though I love the A highlights!

I have to disagree with you slightly though. The Joshua Radin scene was a little awkward to me. Chris just kisses a little awkward and gross, so it was kinda a turn off. :( I liked him less after that date. I wanted him to go in for the kiss so many times, but he did this awkward head turn bury thing. Then when they finally got to it, it was not what I was hoping for.

I like Kirk. He reminds me of the young, fit Jotham I used to date. ;) Ahem, but that's personal, seeing that I am now living vicariously through the show, rememebering the dating days of me and J! Hehehe.

I watched the show by myself last night and I was seriously embarrassed when tattoo man was singing to her. It was awful in every way. And...I also think the producers rigged the show at the part where Frank walked in right when he was about to expose the tattoo. I actually think she doesn't know about the tattoo yet and they didn't let her know about it because then she would have sent him home. I am sure the producers said, "Frank, you need your one on one time. Go in RIGHT. NOW." Horrible.

But I have to say I like Frodo Baggins a little more this time. Can he just go get some lasik? His bottle glasses are unreal.

And Roberto. Yum. Yum. Yum. Even in that horrible Lion King outfit. He is so H-O-T. I get a little giddy watching him. Just saying.

Dustin and Whit said...

kirk and cape cod are my faves, roberto close behind. I am wondering why they can't think of anything else to do but helicopter rides? Do they not do one like every episode? its getting old.

olivia said...

pretty sure she will end up with roberto...although i don't think it will last either. cape cod is a super sweetie but i agree that his kissing situation is a little...awkward. i like frank - he seems like a good guy and he and ali get along really well. kasey is a freaky muppet and i think kirk is okay but does anyone else think he looks like vienna or am i all alone on that one?

I'm A. said...

Funny Ruth...because guess what? Just last NIGHT I told B that Kirk looks like Jotham. Ha.

Kirk looking like Vienna? ha. Funny. But I'm not sure I see it. Kirk is smokin. Vienna is a hot mess.

I agree with you guys on Cape Cod's awkward kissing. However, I still thought the actual date was one of thier betters. I could see myself loving that. Usually I'm watching thier stupid dates (picnic in a dark museum that they arrived at by helicopter) thinking...meh.

Starr said...

I gave it a chance last night, which meant the last 45 min of yawn and Alipoo totally lost me when she sauntered out in that onesie. With her hair looking like crap. "but i have been siiiiickkkk."

Sarah said...

I've never watched the show, but now I'm sitting her giggling over and over about "Frodo of the Shire". Andrea, I adore you.