Tuesday, May 25, 2010

I have no title.

sometimes i feel bad judging people i don't even know based off of how they look on national television. and i was almost going to pretend that this was one of those times. but let's be honest. it's just not one of those times. so let's dive in shall we?...
ali's hair extensions last night were inexcusable. can we not get some classy hair help for the girl who is going to be starring as the bachelorette on national television every monday night for the next few months {but what will come to feel like infinity}? she looked like she took a swim in the ocean, let her hair air dry and then dumped some baby oil in it. nast. i mean, wtf ali? what was going on?
and i think she looked sort of large-ish. am i right? am i wrong? {not like i'm one to talk but i'm not on national television either.} and ok...i'm just going to say it...her arms were huge! i have to think it was the dress. just a really poor choice in wardrobe. it made her midsection look larger than i'm sure it really is. the dress didn't fit well. it wasn't flattering. it wasn't even semi-cute. and it looked like something you could buy from frenze. so again i have to ask...wtf ali?
and did she botox her lips?!
b just kept saying..."well, she's no jillian is she?" no she is not. or deanna for that matter. shall we compare?
shall we compare some more?i really could do this all day.
i mean...come ON!ok. i'm stopping. but i'm throwing in one more picture. how freaking aDORABLE is jill? right?ali looking like a hot mess all night was just enough to keep me slightly entertained during what has got to be the 2 most boring hours in television. one hour of watching guys exit limos. another hour of watching guys sit around on sofas. good times.
so with that...onto the eligible bachelors. wheeee. and i'm only listing the note-worthy ones because most of these guys don't even look remotely familiar to me due to the fact that i was in a semi-comatose state from listening to the INSANE decibel of ali's voice. seizure. seizure. seizure.

no memory of this guy. in fact, don't even know if he got a rose. but he should have...for being hot.he annoyed me right off the bat by playing that game where he acts all concerned for ali and tells her to "be careful" and that "some guys aren't here for the right reason". uhh...shut up loser. you've been on the show for 5 freaking minutes.so. scary. so so scary. hot michael phelps...you may stay as long as you like.you may also stay as long as you like whoever you are.i didn't get all the hate for this guy. yes...he's a pro wrestler. and yes...that's totally ridiculous. but he seemed genuine. i fully expect him to prove me wrong though.this guy does not look even remotely familiar. but he might be cute? except for that shirt. that shirt is not ok.ali loved him. he's way, waaaay too hot for her.i no likey the weather guy.

so let's hear it peeps. thoughts? predictions? rants and raves? together, we can survive this.


Meg said...

Okay...I was super confused by how bad Ali looked. Seriously. I really thought the show made her look/dress/act a certain way, but apparently not. I now give Jill all the credit for making me want to die at how amazingly adorable she looked every single second of the show. Apparently wardrobe is up to the bachelorette. Ali looked so awful. The lips, the arms, the dress, the hair! Oh the hair. I cannot face a whole season of her hair! Did you see all the previews of what is to come? Such bad bad hair. She is also pretty annoying with next to no personality. Her high pitch giggle just didn't win me over. As for all of the guys...I am amazingly underwhelmed. The only one I remember liking is the hot spanish guy...Roberto(?). As you said- he is way too hot for her. But at least she had the good sense to recognize his awesomeness/hotness and give him the first rose. I also look forward to the insane guy who is obsessed with guarding her heart. He is the new Michelle and I love him already. Okay...thats all for now.

Anonymous said...

Oh that Frank?!?! Can you say, freaky deeky? There are some serious weirdos on there.

And her hair. Ditto to the hair. Awful awful awful in every way. And her snaggle tooth? I may not have perfect teeth, but I'm also not on the Bachelor.

Horrid. In every way. Can't wait to watch more though, and read Andrea's updates.

Ali said...

My fetus wants to hang out with your fetus...

Okay, I just wanted to fit in with all of the LAME post limo introductions by suggesting that we watch an episode together in June.

I'll be in Utah for two Mondays! If you're, ahem, available you and I need to watch this show together! It would make my life so great.

Onto the show. For me, the best moment came in the last five minutes when they highlight the entire season.

I'm trying to like Ali. I seriously am. I'm struggling. I also thought her dress was awkward. I didn't like how she held it up with two hands. She kind of looked like a kangaroo when she did... and her "small talk" made me sad and uncomfortable for everyone involved.

Super hot Roberto lives in my state.

I LOVE your posts. Just so you know.

Em said...

prediction: Roberto is the one who breaks her heart in the end with a girlfriend.

And I agree, Ali looked "beat" at best.

And can my fetus hang out with you and Ali's fetuses when we get together for the Bach?

I'm A. said...

Yes. Bachelorette party fo SHIZ whenever Ali gets in town. Let us know Ali. It's a date.

Marcus and Amy said...

I just wish I could look THAT CUTE in a pair of jeans, white shirt and big brown belt like Jillian - it is seriously unfair how good she looks in that outfit. That's all I have to say :)

I didn't watch it last night - but I heard a lot of people tell me that the guys were kinda dorky....maybe a few even a little gay? I don't know, I didn't watch.

Dustin and Whit said...

who was that guy with the huge hair and ugly tie? I really really didn't like him, but I hope he brings drama.

Sarah said...

so- i totally agree with your post. everything. I watched the 20/20 special on the bachelor/bachlorette and it was so interesting. the creator is very creepy- very creepy. ali didn't look very good. i thought the same thing about the dress, arms, hair, botox lip (actually Ben noticed that), and her voice and laugh. Jill was so dang cute and I am realizing it more now. Also- creepy guy, old guy with the hair- is on for ratings. he will totally bring drama. i agree with ali the last 5 minute teaser was the best part of the show.

Robin said...

What is wrong with me- I totally didn't notice anything wrong with Ali and thought she looked fine! I did see her dress almost fall off a couple of times and she kept walking around with her shoulders hunched up.

The guys were funny...that 2nd dude you don't remember is Shooter w/ the TMI nickname story. So glad she got rid of Jay with the hair, he looked like Nic Cage.

I wish this show was on every night.
Can't wait for the drama and your funny recaps!

Michelle T-C said...


In case y'all are missing Jillian.

emily brown photography said...

And we wonder why we have body/image issues....ladies! Why are we so hard on each other & ourselves?!

I'm A. said...

In most instances I'd totally agree with you Emily. Totally. And let's be honest. Ali, all in all, is a pretty girl. But, since The Bachelor/Bachelorette is the sketchiest show out...any anyone who allows themselves to be on it is doing so to either forward their modeling/acting/music career or to make some money by doing really questionable things...I'd have to say that these people are asking to be mocked. Furthermore, Ali is a not nice person who treated many of the girls on last seasons The Bachelor like total dirt on national television. She showed her true colors in almost every episode by being mean and nasty. Only when she got offered a chance to be the next Bachelorette (and heard how much she was going to get paid to do it no doubt) did she come up with a fake apology to make herself try and look a tinsy bit better after being the biggest beyotch on the entire season.

All of that aside though, it's all in good fun. In my humble opinion, reality tv is one of the lowest forms of entertainment where all those involved are playing a role...or the craziest, caricature version of themselves. It's all fake. Or close to it. And exists as a guilty pleasure for those who watch. So, we watch, we make fun, we make snarky comments online and then move on and forget all about it until next Monday rolls around. And Ali gets a big, fat paycheck (in the six figure range actually!!!) to subject herself to it. Yikes.

emily brown photography said...

I actually never watch the Bachelorette so really have no idea what's going on. I do agree with you that all of these reality shows are out of control and yes, the lowest form of entertainment. And believe me, I snarky moments all the time ;)

I enjoy reading your posts-they are very clever!

Oh and I hope you are doing well with your pregnancy!