Tuesday, February 16, 2010

V Necks and Puka Shells and Levi Shorts OH MY!

so gia is gone. i'm sure no one is surprised by this. gia was nice enough. and definitely the hottest. that poor girl's farewell speech was the saddest thing ever. it bothered me for multiple reasons... 1-she blamed herself for not opening up enough and therefore deserved to go home (which is just the show making nice girls believe that there is something wrong with them if they aren't declaring their love for someone who they have known for approximately 3 days) and 2-she told jake that if she didn't know the two girls that he had left were so great then she would tell him but since they are so great she knows she should go. sheesh. depressing. gia needs to get a little self-esteem. and also probably one of those white hankies that whitney houston uses to wipe away her upper-lip sweat.

and ali didn't come back. i'm not surprised. actually i'm glad. i'm sick of her and her i-just-rolled-out-of-bed hair. the whole ali leaving for her job scenario feels so ridiculously set up. ali blubbers about how she has regret and is in love with jake and blah blah blah and jake trys to act sad and thats that. i mean, HELLO ALI, jake has now had ONE WHOLE EXTRA DAY with these women and he hasn't seen you for what? 3 days? so basically he doesn't even know you anymore! and any feelings he had for you...GONE! poof. just like that. sorry ali.

idiotic.

the real deal...ali is next seasons bachelorette. mark my words. plus...the internets say its true so it must be. and that just SUCKS ROCKS because i don't want that beyotch ali to be the next bachelorette. ugh. don't i matter abc? did you happen to actually ask any VIEWERS of this crap show if they even WANT ali to be the next bachelorette? i think not.

and tenley. still just the sweetest little thing. she is way to kind and innocent for this show. they are totally using her. it's sick and wrong. i stand by what i said last week...jake has close to zero interest in tenley. and for him to invite her to the 'fantasy suite' despite that is just not cool. every time she talks he looks super uncomfortable. and sometimes he just kisses her forehead to shut her up. he's not picking tenley. there is absolutely no freaking way.

and once again, that leaves vienna. did he seriously ask her what engagement ring she wants? i just want reach through my tv screen and turn his face into a jelly. he's obsessed with that hot mess vienna. no bother that she is the sketchiest most unattractive and immature option available to him. he's picking her. at least she knows how to be elegant. except that vienna's definition of 'elegant' is putting on a lingerie slip that she found in the $5 bin at target. and that little finale teaser that they threw at us is just to throw us off. tenley is out. vienna gets the ring. and i give the whole relationship 2 weeks.

one last thought...jake is THE WORST dresser this show has ever seen. even b, who couldn't care less, just rips on jake and his ridiculous shirts. the turtlenecks, the flannel, the suits with white t shirts underneath, the v necks. on second thought, maybe jake and vienna and her fugly little swimsuit with the ruffles on the butt deserve each other.

am i an angry person? i feel like this show is turning me into an angry person.

amen.

6 comments:

Meg said...

I will just be happy when this boring season is over. Because it was lame. The whole time. Only I have to admit I didn't hate Vienna as much as normal. It could be because I hated Jake more (that necklace! His shirts! Yuck yuck yucky)...but its hard to say. I think he is a little trashier than they would like us to know otherwise he would not have Gia and Vienna in the final three. I agree that it is most definitely Vienna and that Ali will be the next bachelorette, which is unfortunate because she is not nice and she doesn't know how to do her hair. That whole Ali departure was so set up it was pathetic. Try a little harder ABC!

Sarah said...

A, I agree with everything - absolutely everything you said. I'm also sad Ali is going to be the next Bachlorette. And Meg, I agree with you - she needs help with her hair!

Jen said...

I kept gagging in disgust during the show last night and Seth would look at me and say, "what?" ...oh, you know, just watching this idiot man get all giddy about this trailer trash unattractive girl! GAG! Seriously, every.time.they.even.kiss...GAG!

jen hulet said...

I love your take on the whole show! I think Jake is more irritating than any of the girls, and I also think that Alli going home was definately set up, Remember the last bachelorette....same scenario with a little different ending.

I agree, I think Alli will be the next bachelorette!!!

Dustin and Whit said...

I guess if Jake wants to be a ghetto river folk, so be it. I am starting to think they deserve each other.

kl said...

Oh my word! You are hilarious! Can you be my bff? So hilarious? Nate and I are laughing our heads off right now at your post! Thank you for that! How are you? Sound prego and heartburny -- sorry never had it :( I just get crazy migraines that make me talk funny and see spots. Miss you and love you tons! ps What is up with al those guys you think are hottt? Um, we need to talk! Just put my guy up there - - michael buble!!