Monday, February 1, 2010

More of The Bach.

this season is going quick...hallelujah. that is the one saving grace.
so all i remember about jake and tenley's one-on-one date is that jake wore a turtleneck. that is just unforgivable. no man should ever, in any situation, ever wear a turtleneck. ever. i can't believe there wasn't some gay stylist on the set to scream in horror, rip it off his body and put him in his usual flannel shirt nonsense, which believe it or not, would have been an improvement.
gia is fine-ish. he obviously won't pick her and i feel like there is not really much to say about her. she'll go soon.
vienna is one of those women who is unattractive, yet through the use of magic and spells and the blood of a kitten is able to fake pretty. i can't even really put my finger on what it is about her that is so unattractive...i think it's that she's manish. or maybe it's her nose. which i'm not judging by any means, my nose is no walk in the park either. but i have to give the girl props for tricking jake into thinking she's hot. but i'm not tricked vienna. i don't even want to know how many innocent kittens had to die in order for you to fake pretty.
and she's still obnoxious and whiney. but whatever. he clearly loves it. the shoddy editing of the show isn't confusing me into thinking that she's not in this one for the long haul.
and my oh my did corrie step it up this week. unfortunately, she played the virgin card a bit too late. at this point there was just no way she was staying. but did you see jakes eye's light up when she told him she was "waiting for marriage". man! guys love a virgin. she should have pulled that one out weeks ago and she would have secured herself a spot in the top 4 for sure. after getting to know corrie a little better this week i think i realized that she would have been a good fit for jake. which is another reason why she had to go.
ali wised up this week. she dropped the vienna issue, said all the right things and looked all hot in her little boob dress and boots. damn jake for making her ruin those adorable boots in the ocean. you do not suggest to a girl wearing smoking hot, knee-high, black suede boots to run into the ocean. what a freakin' tool. and like she even had a choice.
so now we are down to four. he really likes ali and vienna. tenley is super sweet and mentally retarded. and gia is too hot for him. i still think he should pick tenley. but i don't see that happening. what i do see happening is me not giving a shee either way, vowing to never watch this crap-fest agin, and then getting addicted and writing recaps on my blog for 3 months. hmmm. yeah. that sounds about right.


Tyler and Megan said...

Oh Ali ruining her boots!! Oh that was upsetting. I screamed in horror. NO JAKE YOU IDOT! She does NOT want to run holding hands into the waves just deep enough to destroy her boots. Ugh. That was stupid. Totally agree with all you said. Vienna is tricky. And yucky. And Jake is an idiot in a turtle neck. And I for once totally don't care who he chooses. Except if he chooses Vienna I really might not ever watch again. EVER. For sure.

Ali said...

It is so hard to decide which sentence made me laugh the most in this write up... but I think the, "Tenley is super sweet and mentally retarded" comment takes the cake!

Oh man. I'm past feeling shame for loving this show. Vienna always seems to have black smudges under her eyes... does she not wash her face or is that intentional? Gia is just a little boring. Corrie was cool. She was super hilarious at the comedy club (if you remember) - she was the one imitating all the other girls. If you had to pick a bachelorette for a future season based on this cast, who would it be? I don't think any of them are worthy of that honor.

Anonymous said...

The thing that is wrong about Vienna is she is trash. It reminds me of "Silence of the Lambs" where Hannibal Lecter says, "You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition's given you some length of bone, but you're not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, Agent Starling? And that accent you've tried so desperately to shed: pure West Virginia. What is your father, dear? Is he a coal miner? Does he stink of the lamp?"
Sorry, had to say it.
I like Gia. She is hot.

I'm A. said...

Ruth...that is THE MOST AMAZING thing I have ever read. Wow. Just wow.

Sarah said...

thanks for the recap of the kind of boring episode, your recap was much more exciting. they only thing that stands out to me after watching is she should have just taken off her boots. 2 seconds flat. i agree with the comments on vienna, especially the hanibal lector =trash. she is a just a little trashy. im so rude, but i think its a bit true. her dad looks like he is going to hurt jake out there in the garage by the motorcycle.

Anonymous said...

amazing as in awful, or amazing as in so true?

Meg said...

Amazing as in genious and so true.

I'm A. said...

Amazing as in brilliant, true, hilarious.

Nichole and Philip Swink said...

Annie - I burst out laughing in the middle of class today reading your post. Then when I got to work I had to forward your blog to a fellow Bachelor watcher and we sat here laughing for a good 5 minutes. Thanks for making our day over here at work!

And I gasped in horror when I saw Ali running into the water with her really cute, really expensive (most likely) boots. What an idiot. She is so in love.

And Gia is too hot and too diverse (aka too brunette) for Jake. It's just awkward to see her standing next to all those girls in the rose line last night.

Lizzie Jones said...

You have no idea how many times today I checked your blog for the beeochelor update. No. Idea.

I still can't take Gia seriously every since you said she was made up of plastic and botox and secrets. I laugh every time I see her. Her laugh makes me cringe. But she is a hottie, even though she always has her droopy hair swinging in her face. And she's going home next week. I think she might be the source of the "drama" they've cooked up. "Just when you thought the drama would end... dun dun dunnn... Jake goes and BURNS another rose!!" (Seriously, was that at all necessary? Burning the rose last episode? No wait, redact. None of this is necessary.)

And, Vienna. I figured out why she is ugly. She's cross-eyed. Dead serious. Completely CROSS-EYED. And ridiculous. And next week we'll meet her indulgent father, her brain-dead bleach-head mother, and her siblings, Stockholm, Munich, and Hassenfeffer. I am completely with you on the kitten blood though.

You have to watch the next one Andrea. Your commentary is good for the soul. And ego.

Dustin and Whit said...

Great recap, great comments, here is where i am at as of late-

Gia, I kind of abhorred her in the beginning for her mysterious beauty but she has surprised me and has actually showed some very redeemable qualities, but like you said, not going to happen. not a match. at all.

Ali- She has surprised me as well, she was my very fave in the beginning and now I am really not a fan at all. I think it was all the drama she got into with Vienna, not attractive.

Corey- It wasn't until this episode that I really started liking her, you are right though- she should have played the V card sooner for sure. Now that I like her though, I am glad she is gone because she can do better than jake.

Vienna- ugh, can't even go there.

Tenley- As good of a match as there is going to be for this season, she is a little too much of something though, i am not sure what, but whatever it is, its just a little too much. I just want him to choose her so we can all move on with our lives and get over this wreck of a season.

So thats it for me for this week, thanks for the great discussions!