Monday, January 11, 2010

This may have been my most favorite episode of The Bachelor EVER.

my goodness. what drama last night! too bad it's all completely fake and created by the show to drum up ratings. even still...
let's start with my top 5 favorite moments.
01. rozlyn! why did she have to go so soon?! really every moment that she was in was golden. but the greatest was when chris harrison was trying, so diplomatically, to explain to her why she had to leave the show. that stare down she gave him!?...chills. i thought she was going to murder him and eat his heart.
02. girls crying everywhere because of rozlyn's betrayal. what. the. eff? i was so confused. i thought they would all jump off the couch and cheer because 1-she was way hotter than them and now she's gone and 2-she knew how to work it better than them and now she's gone and 3-she had way bigger boobs then them and now she's gone. get it?
03. when chris pulled jake aside to tell him about rozlyn, jake, in a desperate and pathetic voice said... "she didn't leave did she?!" ha. you know if chris hadn't already kicked her off the show jake would have forgiven her and kept her around. i mean, did you see rozlyn's huge boobs? {have i mentioned those yet?} i felt like they should have gotten their own rose.
you will be missed rozlyn.
and side note: word on the street is that the alleged "inappropriate relationship" between rozlyn and a producer from the show never even happened. the true story...rozlyn has a 7-year-old son who the show promised her she would be able to talk to every day and who they were going to fly out for a 1-on-1 date. apparently the show lied and rozlyn got pissed. then the show told her she was not allowed to tell jake about her child, even though all the other girls in the house knew about it. when the producers started asking all the girls how they felt about "rozlyn not telling jake about her son" to drum up drama she had a freak out and said she wanted off the show. one particular producer and rozlyn got to be pretty good friends and he was trying to work out the situation. he later told other crew memebers that he had fallen for her and bingo...a scandal is born. roslyn then, under the understanding that she would be removed from the show in a low-key way was kicked off in the highest amount of drama possible (they have ratings to worry about people!) and the producer was fired. rozlyn claims that the so called "inappropriate relationship" didn't exist, there was never anything physical and she is not seeing the guy now. the show is not allowed to elaborate on ANY details of the "inappropriate relationship" because it never happened. they do, however, plant that seed in the other girls minds so they can all speculate and say on national television that rozlyn and a producer had a sexual relationship on the show. and of course the show isn't going to correct them because....hello! ratings! but you will never hear any details other than "inappropriate relationship" come out of chris harrisons mouth. the end.
sketchy? i think yes. i sort of love it though. and i know this shee is going on all the time.
and now back to favorite moments...
04. michelle did NOT disappoint. her crazy is growing week by week. she can never leave the show. never! my favorite line out of her mouth, said in a completely, freaky, stalkerish way... "i'm going to prove to him that i'm here for the right reasons and HE"S GOING TO LOVE IT." **insert psycho music here.**
05. the song 'on the wings of love' playing while jake flew his little plane around. i almost died.
i think jake is a total doof and not in a good way. i find him completely unappealing but whatever. he must have some following out there somewhere. too bad BOTH kiptyn and reed turned down the show. clearly they learned their lessons the first time around.
jake made a good call in giving christina and ashley the boot. although i think it's slim pickings around there. i like ali and tenley. they seem sweet and normal. but i seriously think the entire rest of the cast are a bunch of girls who got to be on the show because they all have agents who are helping them further their career. and that is friends...neither ali or tenley are going to get picked. i bet they will go far. but he won't pick them. for one, because in the end they NEVER pick the girl who they could actually marry and for two, this show is totally RIGGED.
my prediction for the final 3...


and someone else. but who? probably someone real bad. i know it will NOT be ella (she has a kid), ashleigh (she's too hot), kathryn (she'll be gone soon), michelle (psycho pants), jessie (who?) or valishia (because i think she has secret children at home).
that leaves us with vienna (please no), gia (meh), corrie (double meh) and elizabeth...
i'm not sure what to think about elizabeth. it's looking like i might hate her and as suspected, she's turning out to be kind of a psycho. that letter she whipped out last night was just abnormal. and why is she tempting him to kiss her so she can turn him down? sounds like she's playing a little game that i like to call 'i need air time so i can get a spot on a soap opera so i'll do whatever it takes to keep me around and on screen for as long as possible.' hmm.


Amanda said...


Love your commentary:)

Tyler and Megan said...

Oh man. I agree with every word! I freaking LOVED last night. I also cannot understand why everyone was crying when Rozlyn left. Duh. And Jake is so boring. Im sure he is actually a really nice guy and all- but they are having to drum up some serious drama to keep things interesting because he just cannot do it himself. Ali is seriously the only acceptable girl on the show. So obviously he wont pick her. I think Elizabeth might be quite genious to not let him kiss her and then stick her face 1 inch from his and say "do you want to kiss me!?" Idiot. She's annoying. But it could be a smart move. I was glad he sent Ashley home but she got a lot of bonus points from her exit interview. She was nice and classy. Which is hard to come by on this show. Blah. Jake sucks. Thats all for now.

Sarah said...

your favorite moments are spot on. the cheesy music, the psycho comment from alien eyes resonated with me, but... the truth on roz is just... too much. she has not had a child- her body is just to model like. what drama. i cannot wait until next week. i did think vienna should have been a goner- eloped to get back at her pastor's son? i have no words for her.

Ali said...

Que Jake:

"...Things are really taking off"

Pun intended. I CAN NOT BELIEVE they played the, "on the wings of love" song. Oh wait, yes I can. I like "cheesy" but that about did me in.

How about Jake's way buttoned down shirt on the Ali date? That was definitely a top moment for me (ha!). I liked the Ali segment; except I wish her hair was as done up as her outfit. Not to mention, Jake was looking casual.

I thought Christina (she was booted) was in the Michelle "crazy" category too. Her eyes... were so wide... intense ... in a not good way

Tenley... she is pure. She seems the most "like" Jake. Whether that's a good or bad thing, who knows.

Jake "blogs" on He mentioned in his post about Elizabeth that it was in this episode that she started to play games... "Don't kiss me... but do you want to kiss me... kiss my forehead again - oh baby" Gag me. I don't like her.

Oh Vienna. She's a mess. Not even a hot one. Just a mess.

Ashley H. - is that her name - interrupting some conversation in her bikini = so awkward. "Oh look we match, black swim suits!"

Rozalyn cringe worthy. I loved it. However - I believe it actually happened. They were physical. I am convinced. Not convinced it was sexual. But um... hello - does anyone else see the double standard? He was kissing other ladies while she was getting busy with Mr. production team friend. Who knows, maybe ABC totally has me brainwashed.

I'm glad she's gone so my husband can't stare at her fantastic chest anymore...Not a slam to my faithful spouse, at all. I'm just sayin.

I'm A. said...

Ha. Ali, you are funny. And I TOTALLY agree about the double standard thing with Rozy and Jake. He can make out with 15+ girls all on the same day. And it's all cool. Rozalyn does the same thing (or maybe not even CLOSE to the same thing) and she gets booted from the show while all the other girls cry over HER betrayl. Oh man. That's just funny stuff. So agreed Ali...and good observation.

Michelle T-C said...

Who wants an update?

manwaringfam said...

So I am on a slow start...I just finished the second episode. Of course I am hooked, even with all the botox and lip injections. Do men really think this type of woman is pretty?

I come to your site after every episode to read your recaps!! They are always the best. hehehe