Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Europe Observations # 1 & 2:

there are two main food groups in paris.
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1-cigarettes
2-espresso
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the entire three days in paris we did not see a single person eat a single bite of food. except for us of course. we ate every pastry we could get our hands on. and that is why we don't look all skinny and gorgeous and stylish and pissed off.
that up there is a rhubarb tart. {photos by rickie.}
here is an example of a typical meal in paris, which consists of...
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nothing:
rickie found a piece of a crepe on the ground. look how happy she is!
now here is something exciting. i believe we ordered a fresh garden salad...which actually turned out to be a bowl of bitter lettuce with mustard on the top. and see that guy in the background? he hated us because we were eating food...during the day!...how dare we.this might look like a lot of food, but when what you are eating is barely edible...it's not. i mean, first of all, whats the point of even eating if you can't stuff yourself with fattening foods that are high in sodium? and where are the FRENCH fries?!
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second of all, don't let all the fancy wording fool you. le jambon et le fromage sur le pain is actually ham and weird cheese on hard bread.
FAIL.
this bottle of coke cost 4 euros. which is the equivalent of areyoueffingkiddingme?
and this brings me to europe observation #2. wheres the frickin ice europe? seriously. what is so wrong with ice? it turns your drinks cold! and also, it's super easy to make and all the ingredients of ice are actually free.
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we would ask for ice. and people would look at us like we were insane. and once, after asking for ice, someone actually laughed in my face. by day 4 i was getting delirious from lack of ice. warm coke is just not ok.
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here is one more awesome paris meal. lettuce, raw salmon and again with the mustard for dressing. {photo by rickie}moving along to germany. better! they had pretzels. love.
and bratwurst. LOVE.
and sauerkraut. LOOOOOVE.we were so happy to be eating food. you should try it paris. food is actually pretty good. switzerland. you suck at food. hamburgers should not cost 16 dollars.
this is store bought pasta that was heated up in the microwave at the hostel.
don't let those happy faces fool you.
FAIL.

i'm counting this as a meal because those porcupines are made of chocolate.
italy. you win. but first, check it.
here is our million dollar appetizer in the cinque terre which consisted of fish with bones.

and octopus.
and SEA snails.
and oops. is that a hermit crab that slipped in there? i'm an adventurous eater. i'll try anything and i'll usually like it. but a hermit crab? i actually used to have a hermit crab. i got it for christmas when i was 8. i would push it around the neighborhood in my doll stroller. true story. all this to say that i know what those nasty things smell like when they are ALIVE. sorry italy. FAIL.but then the shrimp ravioli arrived.and the seafood spaghetti. all was forgiven.
but here is the thing with italy. at first you are like...pizza! pasta! i love italian food! but then after a while you realize that italy only does one thing...and that one thing is italian food. eating pizza and pasta for breakfast, lunch and dinner for a week straight is just not cool. even if it is really, reeeeally good pizza and pasta.
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gnocchi...
and pizza...and pasta...so basically...excluding italy...it's almost impossible to eat well in europe unless you are rich...or rick steves.

4 comments:

Meg said...

Ha! So true. Rick Steves sucks. And now that I am over my carb overdose I really reallllly want one of those pizzas....and a few pretzels.

Ha. Remember in Germany at the train station after McDonalds when we almost threw ourselves in front of the train because we were so thristy and in need of ice? That was the worst feeling ever. For real.

Marcus and Amy said...

I totally remember they didn't serve ice in Italy and if you asked for water they asked you if you wanted bubbles or no bubbles. (I like sparkling water though!)

And you couldn't find a place that served meatballs?! What's up with that? Is that not a traditional italian meal? I loved the cheese though and the gelato!

Katrina said...

I spent most of my time in Spain and ate a whole lot of bread and yogurt and cheese. And McDonalds. Because McDonalds in europe are way better than here and at least I knew I was going to get FOOD at a reasonable price. Its hard to eat on a budget in europe.

e said...

Somehow this post still makes me wish I was eating European food, despite your repetition of "FAIL" (and deservedly so) and all the gross seafood pictures. Oh... Europe.