Monday, December 1, 2008

A Twilight Review by Me

unrelentingly stupid, completely unfunny except when its not trying to be, mind-numbingly boring, cloying and insipid, with the worst soundtrack of all time {literally} and the most inbred looking cast of characters i think i've ever seen. edward needs to comb his hair, breath through his nose and get a pea-coat that fits. bella needs a therapist. and boo stephenie meyer. to sum up the movie in two words: mental retarded {and no that's not a type-o}

7 comments:

Megan said...

haha Who are you kidding? This movie was hilarious. I recall us laughing the entire time. : )

Alison said...

I admit it. I have poor taste.

It's funny that you posted your review today because I was looking at your blog earlier, admiring how much I admire your lay out, wording, pictures, etc...

Andrew and I laughed a lot reading your review. I agree with you about the pea coat. But, I confess, I liked it. I think what I liked most, was the fact that I was out of the freakin house, without my children. God bless the, I love being a Mom but being in a social setting makes me overly excited. I'll shut up now.

Alison said...

Let me clarify:

I have poor taste in movies. Clearly. Because I want to see this one again.

Complimenting your blog wasn't my way of saying that it sucks. I was admiring that you have taste and class and are artsy in a way that I'm not.

Oh gosh. I'll just go to bed now.

Jon and Briana said...

ha ha I loved your review and I have my own little vendetta with the movie. It kicked Harry Potter out of the movie theater and I am pretty mad therefore I will not be seeing it. Well I might pay a dollar on red box just out of curiosity but regardless still bitter. And the last book was so annoying I agree with your statement against Meyer. She really let the success of her first book get to her head and alas her amazing writing just continued to go further and further in the toilet! Well wow I am glad I got that off my chest and thank you for not being another one of the too many fans of a way over rated series.

I'm A said...

Oh goodness Ali, you are so sweet. I probably shouldn't post such angry sounding things. :) And I hope I in NO WAY offended you. I was and continue to be a devoted reader of the Twilight series {despite the fact that the writing makes me cringe and I absolutely despise Bella}. The books are fun and addicting... somehow. And I am OBSESSED with vampires. For reals. But Stephenie Meyer and the morons over at Hollywood really destroyed what could have maybe, probably, been a semi-good movie. In my opinion, they ruined it. I felt like nothing happened and then it was over. It was two hours of Edward looking pissed and Bella fumbling for words. And then it ended. And also, I'm pretty sure the book takes place over the course of a school year right? The movie felt like 3 days worth to me. They meet, hang out one time and then we are supposed to believe that they are madly in love? Weirdness. Anyways... I'm not faulting anyone for enjoying it. My mom, who never read the books, didn't hate it. Actually, I know lots of people who liked it. I, on the other hand, was hoping for something more.

Briana, I have to agree with you about Harry Potter. FAR SUPERIOR. I also agree with you about the slow downward spiral of the series. The final Twilight book was so strange and disturbing and ick. I definitly wasn't planning on reading some nasty teenage-pregnancy sage. I wanted to throw it across the room.

The end.

Nicole said...

this clinches it for me; i'm not seeing the movie. i enjoyed the books well-enough but i think i'll keep the images in my head pure.

Marcus and Amy said...

I saw it, you are right it was not even close to the book. And cheesy in most parts. Most movies are not close to the books - so I hear (I am not a big reader).

However...Twilight did not kick Harry out of the theater. They were supposed to open the same weekend in Dec. Twlight people didn't want the compition (obviously we know who would have won that battle) so they moved it up to a Nov release...then the Harry people decided the movie needed more adjustments, etc., so now its opening in May I believe? Just thought I would clarify that.

As long as we are doing movie reviews...don't waste your time on Transporter 3 - even though I think Jason Statham is a *fine* looking gentleman...it was a terrible movie.

But! Four Christmases, is a great holiday, kick back and laugh kind of movie. I thoroughly enjoyed it -I have not laughed that much in a movie in a long time! But I am a Vince Vaughn fan.

Those are just my thoughts.