Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Adventures in dog attacks, botched surgery, broken noses and TRAX run-ins

i think i must be prone to injury...and not your regular bumps and bruises, but major, seriously ouchy injury. it seems to be a theme in my life. when i was 7 i was attacked by a great dane. it was faster and bigger than me, so, obviously, not a very fair fight. i was playing at a neighbors house when the dog escaped from his leash and attacked me from behind. unfair advantage? i think yes. i was rushed to the hospital where i received over 500 stitches and about eleventy bajillion open-mouthed, wide-eyed stares from hospital personnel. i happily laid on my stomach on the operating table, coloring in a coloring book and enjoying all the attention while the doctor sewed me up. before i was stitched up the doctor could fit his entire fist into my hip, he could poke his finger in one side of the gaping hole and it would come out on the other side {yuck}, and he could see my artery pumping away. the dogs teeth were mere millimeters away from paralyzing me from the waist down, so he said. i did daily hospital visits for a month.
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broken bones, bruises, bloody noses, concussions and stitches were reoccurring events in my childhood. i was an explorer, always climbing mountains, building tree houses and forts in the hills behind our house and catching snakes and spiders. i never cried when i got hurt but instead wore my battle wounds proudly.
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in high school i underwent some facial surgery due to some botched orthodontic work. {grrr. needless to say, the man is no longer practicing orthodontia.} the operation went well, until i went back in for a check up and the x-ray revealed that the screws in my chin bone had slid out and blood was pooling under my skin. back in for surgery, but this time just in the doctors office, not at the hospital, and with a local anesthetic, not anesthesia. during the re-surgery, which i was awake for the entire time, i learned that my body has a tolerance for local anesthetic and therefore does not numb the pain. what it does do is leave me paralyzed and unable to speak, but still able to feel what is going on. i laid on the doctors table and felt every slice of the knife, every stick of his needle, and at one point, the searing pain of his saw buzzing through the bone in my chin. i also laid there while he discussed his golf weekend with the nurse who kept wiping the tears away that were streaming down my face, but never once stopped to see if i was ok. later that day, when i was back home on my moms bed, traumatized from the whole ordeal, i had a seizure from the pain. it was lame.
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and a few years ago, i was almost run over by our local form of downtown public transportation when my shoe got caught in the tracks while crossing the street. i was tugging at my foot and starting to panic as i watched the fast approaching train. it was honking its horn and people were running to get out of the way, not noticing that i was stuck. umm...help! my boyfriend at the time just kept right on walking, never even looking back to see where i was. {later when i finally made it back to the car he said, "where have you been?! i have been waiting for five minutes!" classy.} so, i'm tugging at my foot and wondering if i lean back far enough if the train will just take my leg off instead of running me over entirely. and literally SECONDS before im about to loose one of my most favorite appendages {i'm a big fan of walking} a random guy, a.k.a. guardian angel wrapped his arms around my waist and yanked me off the track. the train smashed into my arm as it passed by but i escaped fairly unscathed. my shoe, however, did not fare so well.
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most recently i dropped a couch on my nose while moving into my new apartment. OUCH. i lost all feeling in my face for a while and looked like i got punched. the picture to your left is of me looking very sad and bruised and in pain. this was taken right after i dropped a couch on my nose.
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and here i am a few weeks later. still looking sad and bruised and in pain.
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i seem to be a big, red and white walking target. hooray for me! at least i have some good stories. so what are your best injury stories and battle wounds?

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{monitor photo by yuri elizondo}

18 comments:

Estella Baker said...

HOLY CRAP! That was a Painful post! But thank god for that stranger who saved you in that last story!

I always seem to injure my eyes...when I was 10 or so, I was about to take a shower and as I was getting out of my pants, I must have brought my head down realy fast because when my eye (closed!) hit the corner of the chair in our bathroom, it was so bad that I thought I was going to be blind for the rest of my life. I remember my mom telling me to just take the shower and that we'd go to the hospital. Well, I spent the next 15 minutes memorizing everything in the shower and imagining myself morosely going to the school for the blind (which was conveniently only 10 minutes from my old house)...but now that I think about it, I still had my other eye...*sigh* anyways, it didn't turn out too bad after all. I had to wear an eye patch for the next week and my classmates called me the pirate but I didn't end up getting stitches...

there are other eye stories such as the time when I squirted the whiteboard cleaner spray into my eye and we had to call poison control....and the time when i was playing with a toy past my bed time and the corner went straight into my eye...etc etc.. it goes on forever. it's a miracle i can still see!

-estella

p.s. thanks for stopping by my blog and yeah isn't that video freakin' amazing?!?! might i also recommend you watch: "if you're into it" from episode 4? it's just as awesome!

:D

Eric, Maere & Max said...

Andrea. Oh my gosh. I never knew all this. Wow. I am so sorry. I am just glad you are still alive so that we could become friends. By the way, when are you getting married?? This summer, right?

Melissa Stringham said...

Geez, you are a walking target! I remember that crazy dog attack and the jaw surgery. I have to say that I haven't had any real injuries in my life (knock on wood!). The only time I ever went to the hospital was in 9th grade. I was learning how to ski jump on the ramps at Park City and landed on my back one too many times. I peed blood that night and went to the ER in a panic, but it turned out that I just had a bruised kidney - nothing a little cranberry juice couldn't take care of!
That train story sure is scarry though, you really must have a guardian angel.

Jamie Meares said...

my comments thing won't let me email you back directly, and i can't find your email address.

anyways, the peppers' difficulty is EXT. to VERY EXT. low. not hard at all. easy. just stuff.

also, answer me this. how come everyone that blogs is in utah?

Barb said...

Wow. You are one lucky girl. I can't imagine that you've lived through all those scary and painful experiences. I would probably die. I'm such a wuss. I haven't had too many bad injuries. One time, while camping on a remote beach in Hawaii, I cut my hand pretty badly with a crowbar. But luckily, my friend had a "feminine product" which was clean, sanitary, and absorbant so I just slapped in on my hand with some duct tape and I was fine. I didn't even need stitches!

My sister, though, has had a rough go of it. She's nearly lost a finger while climbing over a fence (the chain link got caught on her ring). She had to have hand surgery twice to repair the movement in her hand (and she's an artist! She needs that hand!) And she's also broken her nose three times (one time also having to have stitches in her eyebrow and cheek).

My husband once got so dehydrated a few years ago that he passed out and hit his chin and eyebrow on his Rhodes (a really heavy and substantial portable piano). His little brother and sister found him passed out on the floor in a pool of blood (of course his parents were out of town and so was I). He had to have stitches of course and has some gnarly scars and pictures to remember it by.

Why are we so fascinated by "war stories" like these? I know I find them so interesting!

tiff said...

Um, Holy Freaking McCrapulence. (I borrowed that phrase from a friend.) But seriously. Yikes. I am very glad you survived all of those experiences, and I'd like to hope that in the first two instances, you had some contact with Robert Debry, Keith Barton, or Siegried and Roy. And as for the TRAX incident, I hope it wasn't a really cute pair of shoes! ;)

Katrina said...

Wow! That is all I can say.... I have never heard of so many freak accidents occurring to one girl. I'm glad you've survived this long! As for me, I'm fairly injury-less. Never broken a bone and only had stitches once as a 2 year old when I fell of the couch and landed on the plant pot.

I'm Andrea said...

Tiff, it was a cute pair of shoes. My favorites actually. Sob.

sarah said...

Um. This entry made me very glad that you are alive. Otherwise, I'd miss you. Which brings me to my next point: let's play soon. I'll try my best to keep you safe.

Katie said...

ANDREA! quit showing off and holding couches above your head. really...how do you drop a couch on your nose?
p.s. i had the same jaw surgery, lucky i didn't have the blood pooling though.

ambika said...

I'm never ever bitching again about the mild injuries I've received.

Camilla said...

gosh - nothing even close to one of yours! so glad you are ok!

Catherine said...

Oh my gosh you poor thing!
That all sounds so distressing!I am glad you are ok now!

ali said...

Andrea! How did you manage to drop a couch on your nose? Ouch!

Sarah said...

Andrea take care of yourself! Yes, exactly how did you drop the couch on your nose??!!

I'm Andrea said...

Actually, it takes a lot of concentration and hard work to drop a couch on your nose. I don't recommend it.

I was lifting the couch over my head, actually kind of resting it on my head becaues it was so heavy. I lost my grip and dropped it, forgetting to jump out of the way.

It smashed into my face on the way down. And let me tell you...that hurts.

Ali Flegal said...

Giving birth will be a walk in the park for you. HOLY FREAKING CRAP is all I could think as I read this post... ugh. Your poor mother. I only say that because I hope and pray Eliza doesn't have to endure any of those things... UGH

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